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Why Victim-Blaming Needs to Stop in Some Churches
Why some Christians need to learn more about abuse and domestic violence
The intention of this article is to educate some Christians, not to criticize the church in general. I acknowledge that many churches are understanding and supportive of victims of abuse or domestic violence.
I remember a conversation I had some time ago with a female friend over coffee at her house. Janice (no real names are used) was very upset with the pastors at her church. She explained to them that her husband Steve was verbally abusive to her and her adolescent son. Just sitting at a table for a meal was a nightmare. Steve would constantly pick on his stepson: how his stepson sat, his attitude, and how he ate.
The church leaders responded by telling her that the abuse would stop if she was patient and submissive. Well, that did not work. Steve was getting worse. Janice tried, but she could not take the constant criticism of herself and her son. She spoke to the pastors again and got the same message. If she would only try to please him, they told her, things would be OK.
Janice could not take it anymore. For her own sanity, she and her son left Steve. She also left the church and was turned off the Christian faith. This situation happened many years ago but is still happening in the church from time to…