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When Should We Stop Blaming Our Parents for Our Problems

Carola Finch
3 min readJan 16, 2024

Why adults should stop blaming their parents and take over their lives

Photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash

Some people hold onto resentment against our parents well into their thirties and beyond. Unfortunately, blaming our parents for our challenges and weaknesses can have a negative effect on our lives.

The Negative Things That Blaming Does

Keeps us stuck in the past
Blaming our parents is a dead end that accomplishes nothing. When we become adults, we have the power to challenge and overcome dysfunctional parenting. Blame keeps us stuck in the past — a place we cannot change.

Makes us evade responsibility
It is easier to blame our parents for our failings than to face and deal with them. When blame-shifters are confronted, they will deflect by changing the subject or starting an argument.

Leads to unhealthy behaviors
Blame can lead people to unhealthy behaviors, such as a determination to “get back at” their parents. Others feel they need to prove themselves. I felt this after being told I was stupid and could not do anything right. Others turn into victims who tell anyone who will listen their tale of woe about how their parents messed them up.

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Carola Finch
Carola Finch

Written by Carola Finch

Writer & author. Posts about Christian living, mental health, and social issues. Website: carolafinch.ca

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