When “Doing People Good” Can be Harmful

How can we know if people are trying to help us or have ulterior motives for “doing us good?”

Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

“Doing people good” is supposed to be beneficial. In many cases, it is. People are helpful when they suggest that we take a hot bath after a stressful day. Taking us out for dinner when we are depressed, going for a hike with us, or taking us shopping can also “do us good.”

If people are acting out of love and concern for us when they do us good, we will feel better. These people care enough to know what we need and try to meet those needs. Some people may be well-intentioned in trying to help but may not know the right thing to do. The results of their actions may be mixed.

Unfortunately, other people use this tack to fulfill their own selfish agenda and manipulate us.

These individuals can be skilled at convincing us that they have our best interests at heart. If we question what they do, they put a guilt trip on us. “Don’t you know we are doing what is best for you?” they will fire back. Then we feel ashamed of our suspicions and continue to endure their mistreatment. So how can we tell if people are sincere or are kind to exploit us?

Here Are Some Harmful Motives Disguised As “Doing Good”

Trying to make us “better”