Sorry you went through this. I grew up with dysfunctional parents who could be cruel. I also had to deal with a family members dementia. What helped me was to forgive them. I do not excuse their behavior and have held them accountable. I let go of a lot of anger and hurt and have healed from it. I wrote a memoir and it was like writing about someone else because my parents no longer had the power to hurt me. Wishing you the best on your journey.