Restoring Trust in Relationships

Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

Forgiveness does not mean we automatically trust again. Our relationships will change no matter what we decide. Trust is a privilege that must be earned, and it may take a long time to restore it.

Offenders sometimes equate trust with forgiveness. People who hurt us may have expectations that if we choose to forgive means that we will restore trust even when they continue their bad behavior.

There are signs that we do not trust people who have hurt us such as:

• Constantly checking on offenders
• Trying to control their behavior
• Worrying that they will hurt us again
• Accusing them of not being honest with us
• Stopping the sharing of our feelings and opinions
• Withdrawing emotionally and, in some situations, physically
  Are suspicious of their motives

Determining If Trust Can Be Restored

It is possible to restore trust after betrayal, but it takes:

• Belief that the relationship can be restored
• Willingness to stay in the relationship
• discipline to do the necessary work
• The ability to be vulnerable
• An openness to change