Member-only story
How to Stop Avoiding Confrontations
Avoiding confrontations can be harmful
When people try to confront us, our first instinct is to run away. Instinctively, we want to protect ourselves from harm. Sometimes, we are right — some individuals can be dangerous, either verbally or physically. In many cases, however, we are missing out on opportunities to settle disputes, heal our hurts, and restore relationships.
Avoiding potential conflict makes us feel safe, but safety is an illusion. Needed communication does not happen, and we are stuck in our negative emotions. Nothing gets fixed.
Why Avoiding Confrontations is Bad For You
The issue is always at the back of our minds
We may deceive ourselves into thinking that if we avoid the issues, they will go away. Denying that problems exist is like trying to put a lid on a volcano. At any time, it is gonna blow.
Nothing is resolved
When issues are not addressed, they fester in negative emotions. We stay angry and hurt. Our self-esteem suffers. We are not much fun to be around.
We are stuck
Our human nature wants to heal and move on. Sometimes we must go through confrontations to clear up misunderstandings, apologize or receive apologies, and restore relationships.