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Dealing with Our Triggers
So, are triggers good or bad for us? The answer is both. It depends on what emotions come to the surface.
I sometimes feel triggered when I hear people describe their wonderful relationships with their parents. These people go on and on about how their parents encouraged them and showed their love in various ways. Their parents would say things like:
“I’m so proud of you.”
“I will support you no matter what you decide.”
“You have done such a great job.”
“I believe in you.”
They would smile, hug, show approval, and spend time with their children. My childhood was quite different. I remember my parents as self-absorbed, cruel, overly critical, and physically abusive. I also experienced emotional neglect.
I do not remember ever hearing the above statements from my mother at any time in my life. My father was distant and cruel during my childhood but changed when I was in my late teens. We had a long-distance relationship, but he showed me love, approval, and pride in who I was later on.
Triggers are going to happen no matter how much we have healed from our past. Triggers are not necessarily a bad thing. For me, this type of reminder makes me feel grief and a sense of loss that I missed out on having a happy childhood.
