Member-only story
Dealing with Hunger for Approval
Why Christians should avoid seeking approval in unhealthy ways that can harm them.
When I was growing up, I did not have many sources of approval. My parents were quick to criticize me but never praised me when I did something well.
Bullies at school told me that I was ugly and stupid. For a long time, I wondered how to maintain my self-esteem and self-confidence. Then I realized that my ability to dance and sing well and the kudos that came with it helped me to affirm that I was OK. In later years, I became a soloist and sang on various worship teams. I reveled in the compliments and positive boost doing well gave my ego.
All of us need approval and fear rejection. Accolades can be a good thing in some ways. Other people’s approval can encourage and affirm our capabilities. We usually do not seek it; it comes to us naturally when we do the right thing or make good decisions. Problems arise, however, when we seek approval for the wrong reasons, such as boosting low self-esteem or avoiding dealing with issues in relationships.
Our need for approval can become a desperate hunger that can lead us to do things that harm us. This drive can interfere with our prayer life and keep us from doing the right thing. It can lead us to tolerate abuse, manipulation, and exploitation.
